To hell and back
by Castielnerdangel
Summary: Castiel dies and goes to hell. Six months later, he shows up at Sam and Dean's bunker.


It had been 6 months since Sam and Dean had buried Castiel, since Crowley had killed him and dragged him to hell and since Dean had lost one of the best friends he had ever had. Although Sam and Dean continued their lives, Dean still had nightmares about Cas stuck in hell. He knew what it was like and how much worse it probably was for Castiel. Castiel could still hear Dean's pleas. To him it had been 60 years of nonstop torture and through all the pain, the worst part was hearing Dean begging him to come back and not being able to do a thing about it. The torture was nonstop, and the time seemed to blur together, so much so that Cas didn't know when one day ended and the next began. Cas could no longer scream or cry, he just retreated farther into himself, trying to hold on to his memories of life. It continued like this, until one day Crowley let him loose.  
Crowley told him he could get out of hell if he was strong enough to fight and climb his way out.

Dean and Sam were having a beer at the Bunker when they heard a knock on the door. Dean raised his gun, afraid for who could be at the door. He got closer and opened the door, his gun immediately dropped when he saw who was standing there. It was Castiel. He was bloody, bruised and dirty and looked like he was ready to pass out.  
"Dean..."  
"Cas? How...?" Said Dean.  
"Who is it?" Sam yelled from inside  
Dean grabbed Castiel by the sleeve and slowly led him into the bunker.  
Sam bolted out of his seat "Castiel!"  
At that very moment Cas's knees gave out and he crumpled to the floor, unconscious.  
Sam and Dean dragged Castiel to the bed and sat beside him, staring in utter disbelief.  
"Are we sure he is Cas? Maybe we should test him just to be sure" said Sam.  
Without saying a word Dean got up and left the room, coming back a minute later with salt, holy water, a silver knife and the demon knife. Dean performed all the tests and in the end of them, it was still just Cas. That was a relief. Shortly after, Cas opened his eyes.  
"Dean..." Cas mumbled, reaching out his hand.  
"I'm here Cas" Dean said, grabbing his outstretched hand.  
Dean pushed Castiel down when he tried to sit up and groaned in pain.  
"Take it easy man. We want to know how you are here right now, but not until you are ready."  
"I climbed out of hell, Dean. No one pulled me out" said Castiel weakly. "I am still gaining my strength, that is why I haven't healed myself."  
"Well why don't you get some more rest and hopefully by the morning you will have most of your strength back" suggested Sam.  
Castiel nodded his head, already drifting into sleep.  
Dean wanted to stay with him, but Sam urged him to go get some sleep. Dean hadn't been getting much sleep ever since Cas had been killed. Dean finally got some much needed sleep, nightmare free. About three hours later, Dean jolted awake from a scream, echoing throughout the bunker. He ran as fast as he could, gun out, to Castiel's room and saw Sam do the same. Castiel was clutching the sheets and screaming at the top of his lungs, looking as though he was fighting against unseen restraints.  
"Cas!" Dean yelled as he shook the angel's shoulders.  
"Cas, come on man, wake up"  
Cas's eyes fluttered open as he flung towards Dean and silently sobbed into his shoulder. Sam looked towards them, with sympathy and left the room.  
"Shhh Cas. It's ok. You're ok." Dean said trying to stop his crying. He had never seen Cas like this before and honestly it scared him.  
After 15 minutes of this Cas finally looked up and wiped his eyes.  
"I'm sorry you have to see me like this. I'm embarrassed. I shouldn't be so weak"  
"Cas, you have every right to let your emotions out. I mean come on man, not even 24 hours ago, you were in hell. Be easy on yourself." Dean said.  
"I can't sleep anymore Dean. Every time I do I am back there, being tortured and hearing your pleas for me to come back. Dean you are the reason I was able to climb out. Your pleas gave me the motivation to break free."  
Dean being at a complete loss of words, just stared at those bright blue eyes.  
"I will stay with you. Nothing bad will happen to you. I promise." Said Dean after a while.  
Trusting Dean, Cas laid back down in bed and waited for his eyes to close.  
Sam walked into Castiel's room in the morning and saw Dean curled up in the chair next to the bed. He had always admired his brother's loyalty to his friends and seeing them there, Sam didn't want to disturb this small moment of peace. Just as he was about to turn and walk back out he heard Cas say his name.  
"Sam"  
"Cas! Sorry if I woke you."  
"You didn't wake me." Said Cas as he sat up and tried to get out of bed.  
Sam rushed forward to help him, but Cas shrugged him away.  
"I'm fine Sam. My strength has almost fully been regained." Even as he said this, Sam could see the color come back to his face, his bruises and scrapes patching themselves back together and his clothes returning to their original cleanliness. By then Dean had awoken and was staring with surprise at the completely different Castiel that sat in front of him. Castiel stood up and walked out of the bedroom, with Sam and Dean following, afraid that he might breakdown at any moment.  
"Are you working a case?" Said Castiel as he turned around to face the hunters.  
"Not at this particular moment" answered Sam.  
"What have you been doing while I was away?" Asked Castiel.  
"Trying to kill that son of a bitch, Crowley, but after he killed you, he went M. I. A. That asshat wasn't anywhere to be found." Responded Dean, his temper rising.  
"Most of the time he was in hell. Unfortunately for me, he was enjoying his work." Said Castiel, pain flashing though his eyes for a second.  
"Well if you managed to get out of hell, he is probably going to be looking for you" proposed Sam.  
"Yes. I would suppose so. But he knows how angry we will be. He would be a fool to put himself out there to be found. He is going to be hard to find. I doubt he will tell many demons where he will be." Said Cas in disappointment.  
"We just got off a case and you just got out of hell, why don't we lay low for a couple of days? We could use a break every once in a while." Suggested Dean.  
"Fine. What shall we do?" Asked Castiel.  
"I'm feeling breakfast. How about you Sammy?"  
"Whatever Dean"  
"Ok then breakfast it is." Dean grabbed disappeared into the bathroom for a couple minutes, grabbed his keys and headed out to the Impala, Sam and Cas trailing behind. Castiel slid in the backseat and realized just how much he missed this car. The roar of the engine, the smooth seats and the loud classic rock music. It wasn't until being in hell that he learned to appreciate the little things. Ten minutes passed with Dean singing along to Led Zeppelin and ACDC, when they pulled into the diner parking lot. They chose a booth by the window and Sam and Dean ordered their food.  
"I have a classic breakfast with bacon and a small order of eggs with a side of fruit. Anything else I can get you?"  
With a no from Sam and Dean the waitress turned but stopped and looked at Castiel. "Um sir, are you ok?"  
Sam and Dean turned to look at Castiel.  
He had his head facing down and his eyes were clamped shut with a look of pain on his face. He was hunched over and biting his lip to not make any noise.  
He managed to snap out of it just long enough to tell the waitress he was ok. The waitress nodded and walked away hesitantly, turning around every couple of feet to look at him.  
"Hey, Cas! What's wrong?" Dean said with concern.  
Cas looked around as though nothing had happened. "I'm fine."  
"That sure as hell don't look fine Cas"  
Cas turned away and stared out the window, leaving Sam and Dean to eat their breakfast in silence. The car ride home was silent, with Dean looking into the rear view mirror at Cas every couple of minutes. Back at the bunker, Dean pulled Cas aside.  
"Cas what the hell was that back there? And don't say nothing because that was far from nothing"  
"Dean...I"  
"Don't try to lie to me, man"  
After a couple minutes of silence Cas finally answered. "My grace and wings were severely mutilated in hell. I told Sam my strength was back, but it isn't. My grace and wings are trying to heal themselves and unfortunately that takes longer and is far more painful than healing my vessel."  
"Dammit Cas! Why didn't you tell me. I never would have let you get out of bed."  
"That is exactly why I didn't tell you. I can't sit around doing nothing, because every time I do, my mind takes me back to hell. I can't take that Dean." Said Castiel.  
"And I get that. Trust me I do. Just don't lie to me and tell me everything is fine when it is not. I lost you once, I any take losing you again" and with that Dean went inside, leaving Castiel standing outside by himself. That night was awful. Castiel could feel the bones in his wings shifting back into place and his grace slowly stitching itself back up.  
Dean never admitted it to Cas, but through the walls he could hear Cas groaning in pain. By the time morning came around, neither Castiel nor Dean got any rest. Besides the visions of hell haunting his thoughts, Castiel was finally back to normal.  
"Hey I think I found us a job. A man not far from here claims to had seen his dead wife right before she tried to, an I quote rip out his heart. He survived but it is worth looking into" said Sam.  
"Alright we'll check it out" agreed Dean.  
Castiel was glad to be helping people again, after 60 years of being completely useless. This case turned out to just be a schizophrenic man who had a heart attack, but nonetheless Castiel would have taken it over hiding out in the bunker. For the most part things had gotten back to normal. Sam and Dean continued to argue about small things, Deab made fun of Cas for not understanding a joke or taking sarcasm too seriously and they were three hunters together again, hopefully for a long time, as Cas wasn't planning on returning to hell any time soon.


End file.
